Reply to this meme by yelling 'MORALITY DIED', and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your journal and explain what they mean to you. (If I don't know you very well, your words might turn out weird, fyi.)


And here was what Tracy chose for me:

Lovecraft:  He is the benchmark in sexual ability that I am to be: an "adequately excellent lover." 

Sparkles:  I am America's #1 export of them.

Karaoke:  The fact I can't sing doesn't stop me from makin' it a PARTY!

Krav:  Wolverine does it!

Wolverine:  Does Krav!

And those are what those words mean to me.  :D

I just finished Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. At the end they give you a psych analysis. The game is basically the scariest Facebook personality quiz EVER. I'll post those, then I'll post some minor spoiler stuff regarding some characters from the original who showed up.  Dahlia...  reminded me an awful lot like Sarah.  Same physical type.  Especially in the end when all is revealed.  Pehaps I'm just projecting.  ::sighs::  At least I finally have a lot of that finally resolved and have contacted both her and Seann after the wedding.  So progress has been made and more healing.

( Better Psych Analysis Through Customized Demons )
( Spoilers for Characters from Original Silent Hill and Shattered Memories )

Current Music: See video

Wow, this weekend was incredibly socially active and packed. Let's do a recap!

12/11/09 (Friday): Work. Sold plasma. Dinner with Cat at Jasmine's, which we followed up with ice cream. Why? BECAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR ICE CREAM! They say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but there IS! And that's "Can we get some ice cream?" It's stupid because, again, THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR ICE CREAM! IT DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE A QUESTION!

Also did a back & forth with New Kristi in textin' 'cause I was hopin' she could join us. But her an' her son were too busy with arts and crafting. Have I mentioned new Kristi? She's a lovely 39-year-old and we've taken to each other very well. She's also got a lot of twenty/thirty-something pals. Most of which are involved in belly dancing or burlesque and have a lot of sensibilities that I find attractive. FUCK. YES. Anyway, she's a pretty big help to me in finding single ladies and keeps me in mind for that sort of thing. Case in point: party this upcoming Saturday where she wants me to meet her cute, single friend named... Sarah. ::facepalm:: We'll see how that goes...

12/12/09 (Saturday): Well, here a lot happened.

-Tasty breakfast! Hash browns, ham, eggs, cereal, green tea... on matching plates, of course! I LOVE BREAKFAST!
-Took car in for maintenance
-Took long way back to apartment from Firestone, which was a bit over 2 mile jog
-Played a lot of Super Mario Galaxy until car was finished a couple hours later
-Received my first Netflix Blu-Ray after re-signing up with them! Why did I re-sign? Because I always got my PS3 streaming disc, which means I can use my PS3 to run my "Watch Instantly" Netflix movies on my TV. TECHNOLOGY FUCKING ROCKS!
-Also got my bottle of Mary Kay's High Intensity for Men in the male. I LOVES MY SCENT!
-Jogged back the long way, another 2 miles which totalled to about 4.5 miles
-Running out of time. Figured I'd clean up after I get Cat for dinner party (OH, HOW WRONG I WILL BE!)
-Lunch. Jimmy Johns!
-Central Market
-Get Cat
-Get pan dulce
-Get Cat's incredients for risotto
-While at store (5:30), get call from Raymond saying everyone's at my apartment already. Wasn't expecting them 'til 6. Fuuuuuu... >.<;
-Get to apartment. Ashamed because my place is a mess and I don't have my dishes put away, meaning my colorful cups are NOT HANGING! DISEASTER!
-DINNER PARTY! Went really good, though I felt I could've managed it it all better and smoother. But it was my first real hosting and I'm super happy about the way the evening turned out! Introduced the game of Naked to Kappa House, received gifts I wasn't expecting, overcooked the roast (but it was still okay), had Cat's cooking backing me up, and played Guitar Hero! Shared the "ice cream scoop" story which is always a hoot! Had coffee, tea, and pan! TASTY PARTY!

Also, it really really REALLY made me happy to get 8 people gathered around my dinner table. What's more, we all fit rather comfortably. 8-sided table, 8 colorful sets of plateware for all. Food in the middle. People all around. Love was all around and I felt moved by it. I'm really sad I didn't have the foresight to take a picture. It really warmed my heart. :)

12/13/09 (Sunday)

-Wonderful breakfast again!
-Taught Kristi her private lesson at noon. She's going for her yellow belt in January and wanted extra practice. I want extra money, so it all worked out! I hope my instruction helps her pass. If she didn't pass, I'd feel awful for the both of us. :(
-Kristi's 6-year-old, Brandon, is adorable. A troublemaker, but adorable. When Kristi was changing into her workout clothes, he wanted me to watch him roll around on the floor. He said he could crawl forward okay, but said he couldn't roll around on his sides without changing angles and he couldn't figure out why he couldn't roll in a straight line. I told him it wasn't much of a problem because it was good to change angles often when getting attacked. Then this exchange happened

Brandon: Yeah, but what if there's a bad guy here, here, here, here, here, and HERE?!
Me: Brandon, what on earth would you have done for THAT many people to be out for your blood?!
Brandon: Nothing, but they'd still come after me because I'm a GOOD GUY!

Adorable!
-Grocery shopped hurriedly because....
-4 PM was instructor training with the other apprentices. Practiced some man-in-the-middle drills where the person would defend against all jokes. Best exchange was

Deb: Okay, now what did y'all notice about Chris's technique?
Brooklyn: Well... I'd like it if Chris would hit us in the groin a little LESS. Thankfully, I remembered to actually wear some protection this time around! (She is female and many feels don't typically feel the need to wear a cup. I make them regret that foolish decision.)
Me: Perhaps that shall be my Christmas gift to you guys. For Christmas, I shall not hit y'all in the groin as much! ::thinking to myself, "Heh, that's so not happening"::

-Race to Tia Marisa's to catch the last quarter of the cowboy game. Meatball sammiches RULE, but the COWBOYS ARE BREAKING MY HEART AGAIN!
-Meant to leave and do laundry at the complex, but conversations always happen and my family gets a good, funny vibe going, so after 1 1/2 hours of "I'm leaving for realz this time," I just did laundry there. Since I started so late, I wasn't done until midnight
-Read Watchmen in the meantime
-Came home
-Tidied up some after the dinner party
-Decided to write this journal entry until 2 AM

I SLEEP NOWS!

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Something by Puffy Ami Yumi blowing on the speakers

Took this colorgenics thing at colorgenicstest.com since Britt took it an' I wanted to see what it said. So, here it is!

( Because Clicking Colors is TOTALLY Accurate )( Read more... )

I'm getting more and more pissed off, less and less patient, in Krav as of the past couple weeks. It's doing wonders for my training, too. I'm finally tapping into the aggression we're supposed to have. I'm actually becoming dangerous now. Whereas I only knew the moves inside and out before, performing them under stress was hard since I usually keep calm most of the time. But I've finally snapped, found something to be pissed about, and that's been creeping into every aspect of my training. Also, I've started to actually believe I'm *good* at what I do. I've mostly joked around and--while I was serious when it came to training--kept thinking I had to get better and wasn't anywhere where I needed to be.

While everyone can benefit from more training, I've finally realized I AM actually pretty good at this. Part of it is finally comparing myself to some others I've been training alongside with. The gap in physical endurance and technique between me some others is HUGE. I'm finally starting to think I'm the real deal. I'm feeled with legitimate confidence now, along with aggression. And my instructor skills are coming along GREAT.

Oh, yes. Come January, there will be Krav.

In Disney's Peter Pan, the kiddos needed to find their happy thought so they could fly. In Krav, I only very rarely got angry enough to finally flip that trigger to unleash my aggression. Today, I found it. I've found my angry thought to unleash the aggression.

Time to rip the wings off Tinkerbell and REALLY let 'em have it.

Tonight is a night of burlesque & belly dancers, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-themed party (so we're all wearing our PJs), and gaming. Hot DAMN, I love the social circles I travel in!

Current Mood: Egotistical
Current Music: "Chelsea Dagger"-The Fratellis

So, I made a new friend in Krav. She's in her late 30's, a speculative fiction writer (so says her card), and is geeky as hell. Her name's Christy. Hah. Sarah Yeoman/Sullivan, Christy/Kristi... I seem to be cyclical with names. Anyway, she wanted me to partner with her in Krav yesterday to get a bit more realistic feeling for the defenses. She also didn't like pairing with a lot of the girls because she was afraid she'd break them. So we paired off, but one of the other regular students wanted to switch because he was paired up with woman who was taking her first class. Ordinarily, I would've said "stick with her," but the guy was big and the girl was small. Since it was her first time, I didn't want her to be scared off and not sign up, so I agreed to switch. And then a black guy the woman's size was my partner. I guess the big guy was asking for the little guy? If I knew that, I would've stuck with Kristi. Ah, well. I choked her a few times after class so she could practice against me.

Anyway, her Facebook status that night was "You know it's been a hell of a couple of days when Krav just isn't violent enough for me." Which lead into, what I thought, was a humurous thread.

Me: Woulda stuck with you, but I thought that first-timer was paired with the BIGGER guy, so I didn't want her scared off.

David (instructor): I'm obviously not doing my job.

Me: I'll beat the hell out of her next time, David, don't worry. :P

Kristi: Yeah, so this is how it all ends. I make a flippant comment on a social networking site. And I am killed by my favorite Krav instructor and Skippy the Overeager Krav Commando Puppy.

Me: ... Skippy the Overeager Krav Commando Puppy?

Kristi: I added Commando to make you seem .. you know.. like tough and stuff. You're the guy that won't quit skipping when we're supposed to run. :)

Me: I think the other adjectives kinda cancel the toughness. :P

Kristi: But puppies have sharp teeth. ANNND.. they will completely wet all over anything with no regard for their personal safety.

Me: ..... Well, if that's the case, then going commando certainly is an advantage....

Kristi: I walked right into that one, didn't I?

Me: Ever since I saw the word.

Skippy, the Overeager Krav Commando Puppy. My Krav nicknames are getting longer, cuter, and less intimidating. Wonderful. I'm like Honey-senpai, but taken only slightly more seriously and am less deadly. Anyway, I like Kristi. She feeds my ego. Perhaps I just skew an older sensibility and am years ahead of my time? Stacy was 34, extremely good friends with another mid-30s female, now Kristi... during one of our first conversations, Kristi said "You're interesting to me. When I met you, I thought to myself 'Wow, there's another person who shares many interests I do and he's retardedly young. Either he's super-mature or I'm waaaaay immature." I told her to go with the former 'cause I'm AWESOME.

Perhaps it's something to do with trying to play games, create drama, and stuff like that? I really don't have any of that in me anymore. I have no desire to create stupid drama and don't try to hide who/what I am anymore. You can't be the way I am and be afraid. No fear and no restraint. Not anymore.

Yay, new friend! I really need to stop worrying on Livejournal about stuff and remember to be patient. Because, as I often forget, I am actually pretty damn good at making friends.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: "Mr. Wonderful"-Shiina Ringo

But apparantly not.  According to Cat, Me - The Gay = Absent.  Nobody at a party would know I was there if I acted like myself, but cut out the gay bits.  So, I can't be truly me without being the parts that make people think I'm gay, like having way more towels than a bachelor needs.  So, I need a girl that likes the gay bits.

...  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GIRL WANTS A GAY GUY?!  Man, this is hard.

Current Mood: CONFUSED
Current Music: "Sweet Transvestite"

That was a long test.  A memorable one too, especially with the super-rookie mistake I made at the beginning.  About a half hour into the test, I was holding the pad for a front defensive kick, which is basically kicking outward with the heel of your foot with the intent of kicking your enemy back at their center mass.  My partner, Patrick, kicked slightly low and the pad bounced back into my groin.  The sensation I felt made me realize I did the absolute stupidest thing I EVER could've done in a Krav belt test:  I FORGOT TO WEAR MY GODDAMN FUCKING CUP!  I was scared and panicky once I realized I left my cup at home.  Luckily, we had quite a few spectators, so I went to the one I trusted most: Aria.  It wasn't until I gave her the keys to go to my place to get my cup that I realized I was asking a girl to get my jock strap.  But she took it in stride, wrote the directions to my place, and left to go get it.  She was back after a while, but I wondered what took her so long.  Here was my thought process:

"She sure is taking a while, I wonder wha--oh.  Oh, she's probably trying out the SULTAN."

Yes, even in my mind I think the SULTAN in all caps.  And I was right.  She sheepishly admitted at having to try that bad boy out.  Next water break, I RAN to the bathroom and quickly put the thing on.  THAT WAS THE SCARIEST HOUR IN MY LIFE EVER.  And, yes, I did take a couple good shots to my unprotected balls before I got the cup on.  I...  took it better than I thought. 

It was a rough 5 hours.  I felt really bad that I wasn't as worn out as I thought I would be.  But I had been resting the whole week leading up to it.  I only did the 3 hours of Krav on Monday, a round of Bas Rutton's CD workout Wednesday morning, and jogged a mile at the MEK meeting Thursday.  Okay, it was resting for ME.  I had also been eating quite a bit more the few days leading up to it, so I had a lot of calories to burn Saturday.  Also, the lady taking my vitals at the plasma center this past Tuesday actually *gushed* at how good of a shape I was in.  All that with my natural endurance and I could've gone for another hour or so after the 5 1/2 on Saturday.  ::poses::  Oh yeah.  ::different pose::  I'm pretty damn awesome.  ::final pose::

Anyway, I felt really bad because several others were just out of it by the end.  Not most of us, but my poor partner Patrick ran out of gas about 4 hours in.  By the time we got to the sparring at the END of the test (that's right.  They work us out like dogs, then expect us to actually SPAR at the end of it.  That takes a lot of mental and physical endurance to perform at all at that point), he was just almost gone.  We're typically even in ability in our previous spars, but I pretty much had him due to exhaustion at that point.  I also bloodied up his nose during our session.  When we switched off to different sparring partners, the whole thing took its toll on him and he got knocked out against someone else.

The blue belts test with the green belts, plus do their extra stuff on TOP of what we do.  One of the stuff is the blue belts get in the middle of a circle formed by the class.  They stay in the middle and just keep sparring against whoever comes in from the circle.  One of them was just EXHAUSTED and just did his best to defend himself against (relatively) rested people.  He was...  wow...  he was just about to pass out if we went any longer.  That's intensity and integrity in him.

The test also saw me spar one of my favorite people in Krav that, oddly enough, I've never really partnered with or sparredwith: Ashton.  His looks remind me an awful lot of Bruce Campbell.  He's also well versed in many other martial arts and especially loves Hapkido and the Korean arts.  Also, he knows his guns and shooting.  When I get my concealed handgun license, I wanna go through where he does his stuff.  I hope to get all that accomplished next year.

I studied his sparring match while I was taking a break since I knew he'd be trouble.  I acquitted myself well against him.  He's only an inch or two shorter than me, so he wasn't used to someone with my reach.  He had an awful lot of trouble against me, actually, up until he figured out a strategy against me the last 30 seconds.  His usually tactic is using his right hand (usually everyone's power hand) as his speed hand.  He can do that effectively since he's ambidexterous.  We play the odds that 90% of the people we fight are right-handed and build around that.  He's one of the 10% we would have trouble with.  Thankfully, my height cancelled out his typical tactic and when he'd go in for his hook following his jab, he'd eat my own jab during the set-up.  During the last 30 seconds, though, he said "fuck it" and tackled me as everyone would normally fight--right handed.  That served him much better and what he would do with his left worked with his right.  That made me panic, I lowered my head, and all I saw was basically his black shirt and only felt punches.  He got me in the end.

As for the cup, it was funny because Daphne got in a good groin shot back that basically made it seem like THE CUP DID NOTHING.  OH, CRUEL IRONY!

I passed and got my green belt.  I passed AS A STUDENT.  The testers took extra scrutiny on me and I was told that, as an instructor, they wouldn't have passed me since my skills as an instructor isn't there just yet.  So I'm throwing in extra training Sunday.  Which is today.  So, after almost 6 hours yesterday, I'm going back in for more the immediate day after.  And now that the adrenaline rush is gone, I'm definitely feeling my sore nose and a deep cut someone dug it with their nails on my chest I didn't even notice 'til someone pointed it out to me after the test.  Gotta do it.  Test is in January.

But, man, I felt good that I could've done more and more.  I'm proud of my endurance.  But I think the thing holding my technique back is I think too much.  I don't feel threatened enough and we're supposed to do this when we have that much adrenaline pumped into us.  I only really felt that at one point yesterday.  One of the drills involves a man in the middle drill where we just stand in the middle and are choked or headlocked from all sides for 2 or 3 straight minutes.  The last one was just headlocks and was 2 loooong minutes.  I dunno.  I just snapped and went after everybody that attacked me.  It was the only time in that test that I felt dangerous and probably looked it too.  I just SNAPPED and really tapped into something primal for those two minutes.

Oh, yes.  I was definitely scary then.  I need to tap into that more.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Broken, Beat, & Scarred"-Metallica