In Disney's Peter Pan, the kiddos needed to find their happy thought so they could fly. In Krav, I only very rarely got angry enough to finally flip that trigger to unleash my aggression. Today, I found it. I've found my angry thought to unleash the aggression.

Time to rip the wings off Tinkerbell and REALLY let 'em have it.

Tonight is a night of burlesque & belly dancers, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-themed party (so we're all wearing our PJs), and gaming. Hot DAMN, I love the social circles I travel in!

Current Mood: Egotistical
Current Music: "Chelsea Dagger"-The Fratellis

So, I made a new friend in Krav. She's in her late 30's, a speculative fiction writer (so says her card), and is geeky as hell. Her name's Christy. Hah. Sarah Yeoman/Sullivan, Christy/Kristi... I seem to be cyclical with names. Anyway, she wanted me to partner with her in Krav yesterday to get a bit more realistic feeling for the defenses. She also didn't like pairing with a lot of the girls because she was afraid she'd break them. So we paired off, but one of the other regular students wanted to switch because he was paired up with woman who was taking her first class. Ordinarily, I would've said "stick with her," but the guy was big and the girl was small. Since it was her first time, I didn't want her to be scared off and not sign up, so I agreed to switch. And then a black guy the woman's size was my partner. I guess the big guy was asking for the little guy? If I knew that, I would've stuck with Kristi. Ah, well. I choked her a few times after class so she could practice against me.

Anyway, her Facebook status that night was "You know it's been a hell of a couple of days when Krav just isn't violent enough for me." Which lead into, what I thought, was a humurous thread.

Me: Woulda stuck with you, but I thought that first-timer was paired with the BIGGER guy, so I didn't want her scared off.

David (instructor): I'm obviously not doing my job.

Me: I'll beat the hell out of her next time, David, don't worry. :P

Kristi: Yeah, so this is how it all ends. I make a flippant comment on a social networking site. And I am killed by my favorite Krav instructor and Skippy the Overeager Krav Commando Puppy.

Me: ... Skippy the Overeager Krav Commando Puppy?

Kristi: I added Commando to make you seem .. you know.. like tough and stuff. You're the guy that won't quit skipping when we're supposed to run. :)

Me: I think the other adjectives kinda cancel the toughness. :P

Kristi: But puppies have sharp teeth. ANNND.. they will completely wet all over anything with no regard for their personal safety.

Me: ..... Well, if that's the case, then going commando certainly is an advantage....

Kristi: I walked right into that one, didn't I?

Me: Ever since I saw the word.

Skippy, the Overeager Krav Commando Puppy. My Krav nicknames are getting longer, cuter, and less intimidating. Wonderful. I'm like Honey-senpai, but taken only slightly more seriously and am less deadly. Anyway, I like Kristi. She feeds my ego. Perhaps I just skew an older sensibility and am years ahead of my time? Stacy was 34, extremely good friends with another mid-30s female, now Kristi... during one of our first conversations, Kristi said "You're interesting to me. When I met you, I thought to myself 'Wow, there's another person who shares many interests I do and he's retardedly young. Either he's super-mature or I'm waaaaay immature." I told her to go with the former 'cause I'm AWESOME.

Perhaps it's something to do with trying to play games, create drama, and stuff like that? I really don't have any of that in me anymore. I have no desire to create stupid drama and don't try to hide who/what I am anymore. You can't be the way I am and be afraid. No fear and no restraint. Not anymore.

Yay, new friend! I really need to stop worrying on Livejournal about stuff and remember to be patient. Because, as I often forget, I am actually pretty damn good at making friends.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: "Mr. Wonderful"-Shiina Ringo

But apparantly not.  According to Cat, Me - The Gay = Absent.  Nobody at a party would know I was there if I acted like myself, but cut out the gay bits.  So, I can't be truly me without being the parts that make people think I'm gay, like having way more towels than a bachelor needs.  So, I need a girl that likes the gay bits.

...  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GIRL WANTS A GAY GUY?!  Man, this is hard.

Current Mood: CONFUSED
Current Music: "Sweet Transvestite"

That was a long test.  A memorable one too, especially with the super-rookie mistake I made at the beginning.  About a half hour into the test, I was holding the pad for a front defensive kick, which is basically kicking outward with the heel of your foot with the intent of kicking your enemy back at their center mass.  My partner, Patrick, kicked slightly low and the pad bounced back into my groin.  The sensation I felt made me realize I did the absolute stupidest thing I EVER could've done in a Krav belt test:  I FORGOT TO WEAR MY GODDAMN FUCKING CUP!  I was scared and panicky once I realized I left my cup at home.  Luckily, we had quite a few spectators, so I went to the one I trusted most: Aria.  It wasn't until I gave her the keys to go to my place to get my cup that I realized I was asking a girl to get my jock strap.  But she took it in stride, wrote the directions to my place, and left to go get it.  She was back after a while, but I wondered what took her so long.  Here was my thought process:

"She sure is taking a while, I wonder wha--oh.  Oh, she's probably trying out the SULTAN."

Yes, even in my mind I think the SULTAN in all caps.  And I was right.  She sheepishly admitted at having to try that bad boy out.  Next water break, I RAN to the bathroom and quickly put the thing on.  THAT WAS THE SCARIEST HOUR IN MY LIFE EVER.  And, yes, I did take a couple good shots to my unprotected balls before I got the cup on.  I...  took it better than I thought. 

It was a rough 5 hours.  I felt really bad that I wasn't as worn out as I thought I would be.  But I had been resting the whole week leading up to it.  I only did the 3 hours of Krav on Monday, a round of Bas Rutton's CD workout Wednesday morning, and jogged a mile at the MEK meeting Thursday.  Okay, it was resting for ME.  I had also been eating quite a bit more the few days leading up to it, so I had a lot of calories to burn Saturday.  Also, the lady taking my vitals at the plasma center this past Tuesday actually *gushed* at how good of a shape I was in.  All that with my natural endurance and I could've gone for another hour or so after the 5 1/2 on Saturday.  ::poses::  Oh yeah.  ::different pose::  I'm pretty damn awesome.  ::final pose::

Anyway, I felt really bad because several others were just out of it by the end.  Not most of us, but my poor partner Patrick ran out of gas about 4 hours in.  By the time we got to the sparring at the END of the test (that's right.  They work us out like dogs, then expect us to actually SPAR at the end of it.  That takes a lot of mental and physical endurance to perform at all at that point), he was just almost gone.  We're typically even in ability in our previous spars, but I pretty much had him due to exhaustion at that point.  I also bloodied up his nose during our session.  When we switched off to different sparring partners, the whole thing took its toll on him and he got knocked out against someone else.

The blue belts test with the green belts, plus do their extra stuff on TOP of what we do.  One of the stuff is the blue belts get in the middle of a circle formed by the class.  They stay in the middle and just keep sparring against whoever comes in from the circle.  One of them was just EXHAUSTED and just did his best to defend himself against (relatively) rested people.  He was...  wow...  he was just about to pass out if we went any longer.  That's intensity and integrity in him.

The test also saw me spar one of my favorite people in Krav that, oddly enough, I've never really partnered with or sparredwith: Ashton.  His looks remind me an awful lot of Bruce Campbell.  He's also well versed in many other martial arts and especially loves Hapkido and the Korean arts.  Also, he knows his guns and shooting.  When I get my concealed handgun license, I wanna go through where he does his stuff.  I hope to get all that accomplished next year.

I studied his sparring match while I was taking a break since I knew he'd be trouble.  I acquitted myself well against him.  He's only an inch or two shorter than me, so he wasn't used to someone with my reach.  He had an awful lot of trouble against me, actually, up until he figured out a strategy against me the last 30 seconds.  His usually tactic is using his right hand (usually everyone's power hand) as his speed hand.  He can do that effectively since he's ambidexterous.  We play the odds that 90% of the people we fight are right-handed and build around that.  He's one of the 10% we would have trouble with.  Thankfully, my height cancelled out his typical tactic and when he'd go in for his hook following his jab, he'd eat my own jab during the set-up.  During the last 30 seconds, though, he said "fuck it" and tackled me as everyone would normally fight--right handed.  That served him much better and what he would do with his left worked with his right.  That made me panic, I lowered my head, and all I saw was basically his black shirt and only felt punches.  He got me in the end.

As for the cup, it was funny because Daphne got in a good groin shot back that basically made it seem like THE CUP DID NOTHING.  OH, CRUEL IRONY!

I passed and got my green belt.  I passed AS A STUDENT.  The testers took extra scrutiny on me and I was told that, as an instructor, they wouldn't have passed me since my skills as an instructor isn't there just yet.  So I'm throwing in extra training Sunday.  Which is today.  So, after almost 6 hours yesterday, I'm going back in for more the immediate day after.  And now that the adrenaline rush is gone, I'm definitely feeling my sore nose and a deep cut someone dug it with their nails on my chest I didn't even notice 'til someone pointed it out to me after the test.  Gotta do it.  Test is in January.

But, man, I felt good that I could've done more and more.  I'm proud of my endurance.  But I think the thing holding my technique back is I think too much.  I don't feel threatened enough and we're supposed to do this when we have that much adrenaline pumped into us.  I only really felt that at one point yesterday.  One of the drills involves a man in the middle drill where we just stand in the middle and are choked or headlocked from all sides for 2 or 3 straight minutes.  The last one was just headlocks and was 2 loooong minutes.  I dunno.  I just snapped and went after everybody that attacked me.  It was the only time in that test that I felt dangerous and probably looked it too.  I just SNAPPED and really tapped into something primal for those two minutes.

Oh, yes.  I was definitely scary then.  I need to tap into that more.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Broken, Beat, & Scarred"-Metallica

Lord, the green belt was rough, but I did it!  ::Ocelot voice::  THIS is the single hardest test I've faced thus far: the Krav Maga green belt test.  Six hours!  More than enough to exhaust anything that moves!  I'll do a post on that later.

An interesting thing happened when I finished watching Ouran High School Host Club.  I had some epiphanies.  This is real fucking long, so if you actually decide to trudge through some of the history of Chris and analaysis of his psyche, you may want to go get a drink or something.
 

( Until the Day it Becomes a Pumpkin )

I'm Christopher Angel Bonilla, and *I* have colorful *mugs* hanging on my walls!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: The Ecstasy of Gold

Lousy, stinkin', stupid subconscious.  Wish I could stab it out and stomp it to death so I wouldn't keep having these goddamn dreams.  Ah, well.

Halloween weekends!  Time to go interact with lovely, college-age beauties dressin' up!  HELL.  YES.  Bury the dreams with BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!

...  I hope some of them will be dressed up as guys....

And now it's time for the Unbreakable Christopher's "Ways you know you miss having someone to come home to."

1)  You loathe being woken up by your favorite alarm ringtone because it used to be the text of that special someone waking you up.  It was nice knowing that, somewhere, you were somebody's first thought when they woke up.

2)  When you come home after a long day and find your Keurig automatically on because you timed it that way.  It almost makes it seem sentient and you briefly entertain the idea of talking to it before realizing it won't talk back.  Then you drink its sexy liquids.  That's...  almost satisfactory for my oral fixation.

Thank goodness I'm more than my livejournal entries.  If my livejournal was there was to know about me, I'd be depressing as fuck.  I just wanted to post #2 because I found that funny as hell when I realized how much it comforted me.

I got Tama-rolled.  And enjoyed it.

Yeah, I was trying to be a bit poetic with that last entry.  What I forgot to add was "But make sure you don't indulge in the cold specifically to get warmed up.  Because purposefully exposing yourself to cold is just STUPID."  Thus, I caught a cold.  MOTHERFUCKER!  Hooooooboy.  I'm a moron. 

Also, Ouran High School Host Club fucking RULES.  I relate very much to Tamaki.  Cat suggested the series to me so I could cosplay Mori with Maya as Honey--and then fangirls would squee over me at conventions--so I had Maya watch it too.  While Maya likes the anime, she doesn't wanna cosplay Honey.  And I don't really wanna cosplay Mori because I'm just not feeling him.  I'm feeling Tamaki much much more.  Maya rolls her eyes as much as she does at me and thinks he's my long-lost brother.  Also, Maya says I couldn't pull Mori off since I wouldn't be able to pull off Mori's stoicism at all.  Cat said "So she's subtly saying that you never shut up.  That might qualify as a burn."

Yep.  Maya's wit is indeed sharp.

And I'm in love with Haruhi and Renge.  Granted, those are the only two girls on the show...  if I had to choose, I'd go with Haruhi no question.  Most definitely.  Cute pixie haircut and dresses the way I like when she's dressed as a girl...  and when she wears the spaghetti-strap dresses or shirts, exposing her neck and shoulders....  ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, babyyyyyyy....  I'm a neck&shoulders man, by far.  Kissing along them, to the arm, and back.  The nape of the neck...  does that make me a vampire?  Hurm.  Also, I like the personality.  I think my favorite Tamaki moments so far are when the newspaper club tries to dig dirt on him.  The puppy mannerisms he has are completely what I go into when I'm with a special someone.  I have been told by two different ladies that they sometimes wish I was a pocket Chris of cuteness that they could just carry around them and take out for some cute anytime.

Wow, that was incredibly sugary.  So sugary I don't think Honey would touch it.

Mmmmm...  yeaaaaaah, neck & shoulders...  ::sings::  Just wanna do somethin' special for all the ladies of the world...

Current Mood: Seductive & Sick
Current Music: "Ladies of the World"-Flight of the Conchords